I’ve been thinking about forgiveness a lot lately. I guess I’m really showing my age by saying this – but forgiveness has become something I’ve had to learn over the years, and it’s been something that’s confounded me a bit. Not just the moving on part, but in learning to truly allow myself to let go of negative emotions, memories and ghosts of situations past.
Growing up sure can be a pain in the a$$.
After much pondering on the subject, here’s where I’ve come to on my journey to forgive more often and openly – and I should note here that I do realize this might change in a year, or ten, or twenty…but roll with me, this is where I am now.
- True forgiveness isn’t given, it’s accepted.
What I mean by this is that we all need to give ourselves a break – and accept that we can and must move on. There’s no good in holding onto words spoken out of hurt or anger, and there’s no time machine that can undo anything. Go on, forgive, and accept the forgiveness you’ve decided upon.
- Forgiveness is gift we all need to learn to give ourselves more often.
Finding the strength to forgive for ourselves doesn’t absolve wrongdoings or past hurt. Rather, it allows us to move on, to learn, and to fill our lives with the good stuff instead of being backed-up to the brim with anger, spite, or sadness.
Personally, I have struggled to forgive myself and others over the years. I often confused my forgiveness of another with the acquiescence of any pain or hurt caused – whether purposeful or without intent.
But with time and maturity I’ve learned that the past is a fickle friend indeed. A place where spoken and unspoken words live on for eternity. And, in accepting the fact that I can’t go back and change things means I’ve also accepted that I can forgive others without having to forget.
Right here and now getting on with the good stuff is the best way to be. Nothing can (and nothing should) erase the past – but by moving forward and embracing forgiveness, life just gets sweeter. Wounds being to heal. New bridges are built.
Here’s to forgiveness…a new friend of mine that I understand more and more about as time marches on.