Hard days and rainbows

Today was a crappy day. Well, for someone as perennially happy as I usually am, it was. Up at the crack of dawn and in to the office hours before most, I really did start off with a smile on my face. Really, I did. I was expecting rainbows, not storm clouds.

But, with one small, seemingly innocuous exchange, it all went downhill. A few sobs in the bathroom stall and tear drops staining my dress later, and I pulled myself together outwardly.

Pulled together not because I was ready to stop my pity party, or because I wanted to have a really good boohoo. But, because emotion in the workplace is frowned upon for the most part – or has been in past professional lives that I’ve lived. In most professional settings, happiness is a weakness. Passion is, too. Tears? Man, you must really be an unbalanced wreck.

I have never, and will never be an automaton. I am human, as are my colleagues. I love what I do. Literally, love my job. And, that’s why I enjoy working where I work right now.

The people I work with, and spend most of my waking hours with, are fun. They’re smart. They’re complex. They’re kind. And…they show emotion. When you need a quiet hug, you’ll find it. No judging. Just the knowledge that we are all people working for a common goal.

Knowing this settles my heart.

Beyond everything, the days filled with rainbows and successes far outnumber the hard days. And I know, if it weren’t for the rough stuff, the good stuff wouldn’t be as fabulous.

Right now, at home with my family (cooking dinner and writing poetry with the mini-me) I’m happy and thankful. And, hoping the rainbows are back tomorrow.

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