Walking A Tightrope: Braving The Unknown

Here’s the thing about young, handsome Argentinian lifeguards on beaches… they’re very convincing.

VERY.
CONVINCING.

Maybe it’s was his accent, my broken Español, or the casual way in which his eyes lit up when I said “Is that hard to do?” that I decided to go out on a limb yesterday. Literally.

(NOTE: my decision may have been swayed simply by the fact that I am competitive as f*ck, & a cute kid decided to go before me – I couldn’t wimp out & still be a semi-cool-Mom after that!)

Tightrope walking, I can assure you, is not for people afraid of falling. It’s also usually not something 36yr old mother’s who have never tightrope-walked before do at a public beach on a super windy day.

But, what the hey. My inner voice whispered seductively to me “New year, same me… let’s do this, Cass. You wanted to adventure more. You wanted to make memories & try new things. Here’s your first shot at it. And, you’re only three feet above the ground.”

Damn you, seductive inner voice. As awkward as you are, you sure are convincing. Potentially just as convincing as our new, tanned friend from Argentina. So, with a little gust of wind catching me up the backside & along the path towards the tightrope (as well as a healthy cheering on from my beloved & my bestest pal) – I kicked off my jandals & climbed a tree trunk (not very high) to the springy, stringy thing I would soon be walking – or falling – across.

Lucky for me, mi amigo nuevo, saw I was nervous & gave me his hand. Though he was there to steady me as I took my first VERY uncertain first step, he also talked me through where my line of site should be, how to relax & unravel the tension in the rope through my balance, & showed me how to have fun while completely terrified.

Anyone who knows me well, knows I used to be terrified of heights. Strangely, over the years, I’ve gotten much better with heights – but walking that uneven & unsteady rubber-band was pretty nerve wracking for me.

I may have only been three feet above Terra Firma, but it just as easily could’ve been 30 or 300 feet as far as I was concerned in the moment!

Making it all the way across, I learned a few things in the minute I spent without my feet firmly planted on the ground.

Mostly, I learned these key lessons:

  1. Be courageous
    This is seriously not as easy as it sounds. Most of us like to think that we’re daring… at least a little bit. But, in practice, I personally end up turning down opportunities to try new things for fear of what others – and even my own inner-voice – might think. I consistently tell my daughter that she can’t be good at everything. You have to start somewhere, and somewhere is usually right at the beginning. No one starts off as a master. Masters were always once beginners. So, while I might end up sounding like a $.50 fortune cookie, I reckon we should all start at the beginning. Without fear. Without judgement. But, more so, with hope, joy & a sense of adventure. Courage is contagious – pass it on.
  2. Don’t Look Down
    As my Argentinean friend told me as I started walking from one tree to another “Look only ahead, not down, not to the side.” This really resonated with me in the moment – and resonates even more now thinking back on his words. We oftentimes spend so much time looking in a direction other than that in which we’re heading that we lose sight of our end destination. Even with strong winds whipping at your back, or with wobbly footing, if you look ahead & focus on what you’re hoping to achieve – your chance of getting there inherently grows by leaps & bounds. I always tell my teams at work that, as a manager, it’s my job to provide a ‘North Star’ for them to steer towards. It’s their job to get there – whether it be swinging across Orion’s Belt or sliding through the big dipper. Keep your eyes up. Move with intent.
  3. Have fun falling
    This is something I’ve grown to embrace & love over the past few years. Falling, itself, is fun. It’s the landing, if you’re not prepared for it, or it comes too soon, that hurts the most. It’s taken time, but I’ve started to not just face my fear of falling (and, failing) but to embrace it with my eyes wide open. Most probably squealing all the way to the bottom where a soft landing (or slight thunk) awaits. Falling, like flying is all part of the journey. If you embrace each moment, you’ll find fun just around every corner.

 

So, there you have it. A small moment. But, big lessons. Here’s to more travelling South Americans on Auckland beaches this summer, helping us all face our fears – while reminding us, there’s no shame in having a helping hand to steady us while we learn.

Gracias, amigo mio. Que te vayas bien.

 

Tightrope walking!
Tightrope walking!

My Top 10 For 2018: Resolutions, Predictions & Trends

It had to happen team. You know me, a sucker for a good ‘ol listicle or resolution post. I mean, would I really be worth my weight in blogger/vlogger salty-sweetness if a New Year occurred & I didn’t post something about fresh starts & looking ahead?

Grab yourself a cuppa, settle in for about five minutes (if you’re a skim-reader, it’ll only take you 2 minutes) & enjoy my take on the year ahead.

Also, if you’re just not having a bar of this ‘reading-stuff’ this year (I mean, reading? It’s so 1500AD), GOOD NEWS! I also made a video about this exact topic which I’ll also add to the bottom of this.

Have a look & if you like the video, please subscribe to my YouTube channel. There will be more vlogs in the coming months. Some, not all, will include gin & hijinks. All will include heart & soul.

And, there will surely be lots of hand movement. #handtalker

As always, your respectful comments are always welcome!
Good discourse lives here…

  1. Concentrate on Health
    This is an all-encompassing statement for me. Health being defined as liberally as you an imagine as that of mind, body & soul. I’ve let my gym routine slip a bit in 2017, which is a sure way to lead me to unbalance in all parts of my life. I’ve always been a gym-goer, moving my body relaxes my mind & allows me to think more creatively. So, there’ll be more moving of the creaky body (we’ve exercised 15 of the last 18 days, which is fab!) Mentally, I’ll be giving myself space & time to think deeply. To ask questions. To search out answers. By doing this, I grow. Sometimes fast, sometimes more slowly. But the growth is visible & my heart is happy. Health, welcome back to Casa Roma in 2018.
  2. Celebrate Small Successes
    This is something that we all should do. I think we get so caught up in big goals & big projects, that we forget to celebrate the smaller milestones along the way that lead to greater things. Being able to identify & celebrate moments that make our days brighter & better mean we’ll all be a bit happier & a go a lot easier on ourselves when we mess up. As our own worst critics, taking time to practice being our own biggest fans is a super-important habit to get into.
  3. Celebrate the Successes of Others
    As with the above, it’s imperative that we start celebrating the good in others more often. Be it a win at work, a new skill learned at home, or a simple compliment to a stranger on the street – celebrating others & their successes helps everyone feel better about themselves & their journeys. I’ve actually scheduled into my weekly calendar a time that’s set aside simply for sending JWD (job well done) emails to others. I can tell you, it feels great to make others feel good!
  4. There Is No Impossible
    Seriously? Yep, seriously. After watching ‘The Crown’ on Netflix over the past week, I’m all about Winnie. Churchill, that is. Always a sucker for a good, pithy quote, I’ve been reminded quite a lot recently that the only limitations we have are those that we set on ourselves. We are allowed to interpret everything that happens in our lives in our own way. Therefore, failure isn’t failure. Failure is an opportunity to learn. And, as Winnie said “SUCCESS consists in staggering from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” Me? I’m as enthusiastic as they come! #TallyHo
  5. Giving Back
    This one is as simple as it sounds. We all get caught up in our daily routines, & because of it, don’t spend as much time as we might like giving back. Small moments of joy in spending time with people in the community or in mentoring others fills my soul to the brim. This year I’ve put into motion dedicating more time to giving back. As Co-chair of the Auckland Pride board, I’ll be able to work more in the LGBTQ+ community. And, as a now elder-stateswoman of the social & digital media community in Australasia (I like to call myself OG to pretend I’m a little bit hip & with-it still!), I’m spending more time mentoring young marketers, storytellers, & social media influencers. Carving out time to give back is just as important as carving out time to ourselves. Both do fantastic jobs at making life more fulfilling in the longterm.
  6. Coffees + Cocktails
    I’ll be saying “Yes!” to both of these more often this year. In fact, in the first month back to work, I’ve already got quite a few catch-ups with old friends, new colleagues, & interesting people I’ve been meaning to see for yonks all lined up. The coffees & cocktails bit is simply to keep ye olde whistle whet while pontificating & lol-ing. I’m telling you, Team, thirty minute chats are sometimes the best chats you’ll ever have.
  7. Read More Novels
    I started reading more novels about entrepreneurs & conscious workplaces last year, & I’ve continued into 2018 doing the same. That whole ‘meaning to get around to reading…’ thing? Yeah, I’m getting around to it now. I find a lot of inspiration in knowing that other people out there have struggled to find their place, found it, & are making a life doing things they’re passionate about. Right now I’m reading Entrepreneurial You by a great author & speaker, Dorie Clark. I’ve also (FINALLY!) gotten around to reading the 4 Hour Work Week by Tim Ferris. I’ve got a lovely line-up of books to jump into by Richard Branson, Kurt Vonnegut Jr. & more. Go on & get yourself some inspo in the form of novels. If you’re like me, you’ll be simultaneously thrilled & fired-up.   
  8. Pride, Yasssssssss
    Ah, Pride! Butterflies, rainbows & love winning the day. After years of raising up a small child, this Momma is ready to do more work with the LGBTQ+ community in New Zealand & beyond. Alongside friends, family, & my amazingly supportive wife, 2018 is shaping up to be quite the year for continuing our commitment to safety, voice, & equality in our rainbow communities. The Auckland Pride Festival kicks off on the 2nd of February & runs though to the 18th, & I’m so excited to be working with amazing people, brands & festival/parade directors to deliver such a diverse range of events & shows over this time. Love always wins. Always.
  9. Spending Time With Family
    This is a no-brainer. But, again, in a world hell-bent on glorifying ‘busyness for the sake of being busy’ we often don’t see a lot of each other as we run from home to work to school during the week. My little nuclear family here in NZ is my world. My wife & daughter are everything to me – so this year, finally, I’ve made a few decisions that will actually put them first when it comes to my time & attention. Firstly, I’ll be doing more drop-offs & pick-ups with my daughter. She’s off to intermediate/middle school this year, & I aim to help her ease into a new routine by being more consistent in my presence in her life before & after school. As for my marriage, we’re already really good with having time to ourselves for date nights, Netflix marathons, filming vlogs, adventuring… this year we’ll maintain the level of fun at home & then some. As for family abroad, I’m committing to heading home more this year. I need to spend time with my parents & cannot wait to welcome another niece into the world early next year. Spending time with the little ones is magical. I guess this means we’ll be seeing you soon, California & Detroit!
  10. Live a Life of Kindness
    This is my ethos, my driving reason for being, & the only way I can understand the world. Through a lens of kindness, everything becomes clearer. I’m not going to lie, there are times when other people act in ways which they shouldn’t, when they become heartless & angry. But, when you live a life of kindness, you see their pain. You recognise their ego, their fears. And, you empathise. It is kindness, not just shared genetics or culture, that binds us together. Together we’re stronger. Together we’re better. So kindness, as saccharine-sweet & cliche as it may be, is the only way to live.

If you’ve made it this far, YEE HAW! Thank you.

Click ‘play’ below & enjoy my first vlog of 2018.
Cheers & Happy New Year, team!

2012 A New Year – A fresh start

What is it about the ending of one year and the start of a fresh one that fills so many people with immeasurable amounts of hope?

I’ll tell you what it is: it’s a line in the sands of time that allows us to mark where the conclusion of one trip around sun ends and another begins. A new year allows us to pause – even though time itself never does. Once a year we look back and leap forward and resolve to work harder, eat better, to live life to the full.

We need this pause, too. Without it life as we know it would continue day in and out as it does – which would be okay (we are inherently creatures of habit). But by taking the time to reflect on where we’ve been we are better able to strengthen our resolve to look forward.

We take note of our successes and our failures and plan on how to build on them both. We cry tears for the loved ones lost and focus on the people we’ve still got. We spend time simply – we think.

For me, I think about how the decisions I’ve made in life have led me to where I am today. I am far, far away from the people and places that shaped me – my country, my family and childhood friends. I miss them all more than usual around the holidays and New Year’s always brings a more introspective version of me to the fore.

Last year was a rough one. We lost my husband’s mother, one of his best mates and his Uncle in the span of 16 weeks. With so much grief around, our relationship and others in our lives were strained. Hell, just getting out of bed without feeling heavy or wanting to sob was hard – let along attempting to strengthen connections with others. BUT – we got through it. We worked bloody hard and we’re smiling again. I am hoping 2012 brings us good fortune and no more death. That would be my ideal year.

I have also been thinking in the “now” a lot more. I used to miss home every second of every day – but living in the now has opened me up to complete happiness here in my adopted homeland. I well up with pride now and say “we” when referring to Kiwis. I guess this means I’ve finally reached the epitome of a world citizen – yes, I’ve got roots and wings and am proud of both.

For me, the beginning of this New Year marks a new chapter in the novel of my life. I am taking stock of what I’ve done, where I’ve been, who has taught me and what I’ve learned in the past year. I’ve written down my own personal and professional goals. I’ve also etched them into the very fibre of my being.

A lot of people set their sights high when it comes to their New Year’s Resolutions. I do, too. My resolutions, however, aren’t your stock-standard ones. Sure we all want to eat better (and less), exercise more and balance out work and home life – but I want more than just this.

In 2012, I am going to work on learning something new about someone every day. This someone might be my Mom, my new sister-in-law, my mates or even my husband. It’s funny how often we go through the motions with the people we love the most. I want to connect more to them. I want to hear their stories and learn how to be thankful for every moment.

Tonight my little family (Hubby, 5yr old daughter and I) went on a mission around Auckland to find something new and exciting to do. We drove for 3 hours – everything’s closed on January 1st – and ended up having an amazing Thai Food dinner in a gorgeous hidden restaurant we would have never known existed otherwise.

When the waitress poured our water, we all looked at each other and Miss5 chimed up with:
“What a superb way to spend our New Year’s as a family! Cheers!”

With smiles on our lips we drank to the year ahead.

So roll on, 2012. Momma Cass has set the bar high. Come along with me for the ride – you’re bound to laugh, live and love all along the way.
Yee Haw!