“I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change. I am changing the things I cannot accept.”
— Angela Davis
Here’s something I know to be true in a world where everything is made up: nobody comes into this world with immovable confidence, courage at scale, and deep self-trust.
We build it.
Bit by bit.
Choice by choice.
Brave step by brave step.
If you’re reading this with that itchy, twitchy feeling of being stuck—in a job that saps your joy, a relationship that’s run its course, or a season of life that no longer fits—then welcome to the Human Experience!
You’re not alone.
In fact, you’re exactly where you’re meant to be. The place where your next best chapter begins.
Yay! Go us (all of us!) for feeling that soul-tug of knowing. That nervousness of imminent change. That A-HA moment of momentum ahead.
Stuck isn’t a feeling, it’s a myth. A mindset. A lie we tell ourselves.
So… let’s get un-stuck, shall we?
The Myth of “Stuck”
Firstly, the world tells us (especially women, diverse communities, & LGBTQIA+ folks) that we’re supposed to live by other people’s rules. Rules we had no hand in writing. And, until we start to question everything, we question ourselves.
My hot take is that feeling stuck isn’t a sign of failure—it’s a signal. A sign that your inner compass is nudging you to pivot, upgrade, or overhaul our lives.
Stuck isn’t a dead end.
Rather, it’s a sacred pause (a deep-breath that fills our lungs) before a necessary plot twist.
Often though, we wait.
We wait until we’re “qualified enough,” until the kids are older, until it’s quieter at work, until the stars align and other people people give us an okay on our decision-making.
Here’s the magic to getting un-stuck: Confidence isn’t the prerequisite. It’s the result of action. You don’t have to be 100% sure to make a change that suits you. You just have to be 10 seconds braver.
10 seconds confident.
10 seconds self-starter.
10 seconds saying “Why not me? Why not now?”
10 seconds can and will change our lives and minds. When I left my “dream job” I questioned it at every step. I mean, I had it “all.” I had security. I had a fancy title. Money. Importance. Stages to speak on. A sense of self that was strapped in tight to other people’s measures of what success looked like.
In my heart though, I knew I needed to leave and start living a more intentional, service-driven, intentional life. Stepping into the unknown meant I had to think through who I was and what I wanted from life. Everything from legacy to love.
I was my own handbrake for so long that moving forward without was foreign. But, I did the thing. Scared. Uncertain. AND, EXCITED FOR THE UNKNOWN. I didn’t want to feel small in my own life. So, I decided to play big.
Why We Stay Small (When We’re Built for Big)
A 2023 McKinsey report found that women are leaving corporate leadership roles in record numbers, with many citing burnout, lack of flexibility, and stalled career growth. When we stall, we’re stifled. When we burn out, we CAN come back and burn brighter in our own way.
But how do we do this when we see information coming out of sources like the Harvard Business Review that quotes data that tells us women often won’t apply for jobs unless they meet 100% of the listed criteria. Men? They apply at 60%.
We learn that most of our “stuck-ness” is manufactured & reinforced by the world around us. Then we question it, and make a first move. We move beyond our perceived limits. We learn to silence our doubts.
Because, we’re not born doubting ourselves.
We’re taught to. We’re taught to be polite and to wait our turn.
We’re told not to rock the boat.
But guess what? The boat needs rocking.
At your core, you’re the storm.
What Does It Take to Make a Change?
When it comes to feeling stuck, the way to unstick ourselves is to change. Change takes courage, boundaries, and the ability to sharpen our pencils.
We all need:
- Courage that trembles but still shows up.
- Boundaries built not from walls, but from worth.
- A mindset to rewrite the stories you’ve been told about who you should be and boldly step into who you are.
It also takes a sense of humour. (Because honestly, what’s growth without a bit of “WTF am I doing?” whispering to ourselves in the bathroom mirror?)
5 Tools to Move from Stuck to Unstoppable
If you’re like me, then there’s nothing quite like a toolkit to help put some structure around strategic and intentional movement forward.
1. Write Your Brave List
List 10 brave things you’ve done in your life. (Yes, surviving that awkward Zoom meeting counts.) Remind yourself: you’ve done hard things before. You can do them again.
2. Build a Confidence Circle
Surround yourself with hype women. (You know the ones. The “get it, girl!” types.) Community builds belief faster than any pep talk.
3. Ask Yourself Better Questions
Not “What if I fail?” but “What if this works?”
Not “Who am I to do this?” but “Who am I not to?”
4. Take The First Step
Apply for the job. Book the coffee chat. Sign up for that night class. Change doesn’t need to be dramatic to be meaningful. Start small, move consistently.
The Cost of Staying Still
Let’s be clear: you don’t owe anyone a version of yourself that fits neatly into their expectations.
Saying yes to yourself might mean saying no to comfort, codependency, or conformity. It might mean leaving a career you once dreamed of. It might mean breaking up with “busy” or bowing out of being the default caretaker. But the cost of staying still? Is your aliveness.
And that’s too damn high.
You, Author.
You, Architect.
You, Able.
“The braver I am, the luckier I get.”
– Glennon Doyle
You’re not stuck.
You’re just at the edge of a beginning.
A sometimes sharp edge, one that feels like a free-fall is on the other side.
But, imagine flying.
Imagine yourself succeeding beyond even what you can imagine.
This time last year I couldn’t have imagined where I am right now – moving forward, in love, safe, secure in who I am and where I’m going. This time next year I hope I look back and think the same thing.
When it comes to you, remember that you get one shot at this rodeo of life. It flies by in a flash even when we get a hundred years above ground.
You were born to be the author of your own story—not the footnote in someone else’s. And our stories? They’re all messy, magical, and nonlinear.
Life is a story. It’s wild wonder. It’s heartbreak and high-hopes and music to dance to and hiking boots and belly laughs and connection.
Your life?
It’s yours.
And, the next chapter starts not when you’re ready, but when you’re willing.
“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”
— Maya Angelou
Take the first (next) step. The rest will meet you there.
The truth is: becoming unstoppable doesn’t mean never feeling fear. It means dancing with it, laughing in its face, and choosing yourself anyway.
Let’s go, friend.
You’ve got this.
And if you ever forget? I’ll remind you again, and again, and again.
We rise by writing our own stories—with strong backbones, soft hearts, soul-sparkle, and unique chapters.
EXTRAS – Journal Prompts to Move You Forward
- What part of my life feels tight, small, or heavy right now? What would freedom feel like instead?
- What’s one story I’ve been telling myself that no longer serves me?
- If I trusted myself 1% more, what would I do today?
- If I couldn’t fail – how quickly would I move towards my destiny?